The prompt for this essay wasn’t included, but it was probably for a school-specific essay. Making decisions regarding course selection, seeking advice from advisors, and utilizing time efficiently have all been part of the process, accomplished at a distance from the familiar support structures and cues of both home and high school.
This opening is fairly weak because it is very general.
I learned very little about this applicant from this paragraph, which could be entirely omitted to reduce the number of unnecessary words.
The highly motivated professors, who encourage participation, have been the highlight of my experience thus far.
However, the level of student interaction has not been gratifying.
Having experienced a year of college and dorm life, I am more aware of what is best for me.
As a transfer student, I would appreciate this style of living even more.
One Saturday in October, while walking to the dining hall, I realized that I was one of five people on campus.
With the majority of undergraduates living in on-campus dorms, the campus of Northern State fosters a unique intimacy. Such activity creates a comfortable environment that promotes interaction and the formation of strong bonds between members of the community.
In this post, we analyze an essay example excerpted from College Admission Essays for Dummies by Geraldine Woods to complement the example for the University of Pennsylvania that we’ve previously critiqued.
The essay we’ll analyze here leaves a lot of room for improvement, though it has many positive aspects.